Dear Dysfunctional,
our lives are incredibly easy. You can't deny that, the fact that you are reading this right now means two things; that you have a computer, and that you have too much time to waste. Both of those are luxuries. Hey, dont worry, I'm not just pointing a finger at you; I know I live my life in luxury too, and I'm not saying you should live in a cave in aestheticism. I am merely making an astute observation for the point of satire, so just chill. To begin, let us dissect the average American living room. Besides at least two overweight/ anarexic individuals, we should quickly observe a flatscreen that dominates one of the walls. The next object that presents itself is a couch, which tends to be large and fairly hideous. The point of this fixture is provide a single location in the house where the inhabitants can spend the majority of the day. Okay, this is the more extreme example. But even in the actual average house, there is no shortage of items that most third world inhabitants would consider with envy. Running water is actually not as common as we would like to believe, yet none of us can imagine life without it. To live without immediate access to water, or even without hot water, would be a veritable hell... I, for one, cannot stand cold showers; despite hygienic concerns, I have good reason to believe that I would all but stop bathing if there were no hot water. Not to mention microwaves, refrigerators, cars... there is in fact a debate as to whether the extinction of man will be caused by an electromagnetic pulse which will destroy all electronics. Either way, don't take all of your little blessings for granted: the russians are coming.
Kudos to you all,
Blackie Jaqueline
PS, song of the day is Jerk It Out, by the Caesars...
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