Easter Means Candy; Maybe We'd Be Better Off Celebrating With Shots...

Dear Dysfunctional,
Happy Easter! My parents are interesting; here I am, chatting it up with them at two in the morning, but when I want to see what kind of candy is in store for the following morning, nooo... Well, I suppose that old habits really do die hard, and they do deserve that last vestige of secrecy which is no doubt one of the highlights of Easter and Christmas. Though it is awesome getting a crazy assortment of awesome stuff, really, nothing beats giving it. Don't ask me why, but thats just how it is. Well, I'm glad that I didn't find that out at an early age, though, because there was also a very real pleasure when I woke up in the morning and got to rip open presents and gorge myself on the parentally-sanctioned candy. How that tradition ever really gained precedence among parental units will remain forever a mystery to me; after a thirty minute binge, not only are all children rushing around on a sugar high, but they also refuse to eat anything that may have even a semblance to nutritional value. Whatever. I just wait out that the hedonism in my room with music, so by the time I reascend to the outside world, the only thing remaining of the chaos are a few children strewn haphazardly over the floor, in the throes, or lack thereof, of a sugar coma. Gotta love kids sometimes... Here's a picture of a creepy Easter Bunny. How did bunnies infiltrate the true meaning of Easter? Did Christ get butted out by creepy things like this?


(Here's a brief rant on Easter Bunnies:
How did they become so popular? I mean, cute and all, sure, but seriously, before everybody lived in a city, people hated rabbits. They multiplied quicker than factorials and destroyed gardens of all sorts. I mean, they're rodents, for pete's sake! I can see no way they entered popular culture favorably, unless they were satirically featured in a Bud Light commercial. Now, they haunt the subconscious of children at Easter, though they have failed to gain the precedence that figures such as Santa Claus enjoyed. Well, thank God for small blessings...)






Happy Easter!

Gilmore Gladstone

PS song of the day is... hmm... Our House, by Crosby, Stills, Nash, Young