The Icon Of Summer

Dear Dysfunctional,
Spring has rolled around again, and with it has brought certain cultural norms that accompany the clement weather.  Shorts, sunglasses, bikes.... Oh, and yes, there are those individuals belonging to the fringe group already jumping into the lakes.  But it's not these various pleasantries that I'm anticipating so eagerly; no, I am overjoyed instead by the return of the hallowed ice cream cone.  That symbol of the carefree summer, the Ice Cream Cone has long been revered for its simplicity, diversity, and its cooling properties.  I know what you are thinking; you know that ice cream is not limited to summer.  Ice cream is a confection that all enjoy all year round.  To limit ice cream to summer is a restriction upon mankind that cries out to heaven for vengeance, is it not?  This is true, and I have also devoured several gallons of the frozen delight throughout the long and painful winter months.  But that was mere ice cream, often just in a bowl, or, straight out of the carton.  But the Ice Cream Cone; well, it is a symbol almost exclusively of warm summer days. And also the fewer warm spring and autumn days.  Well, I had better be going; I still have not enjoyed the first Ice Cream Cone of the year, and that is a crime of the greatest outrage.
Bon Appetite!
Garver McHallie

PS, song of the day is Cali In A Cup, by The Woods.

                                          

Of My Newfound Freedom

Dear Dysfunctional,
Schools out!! At long last, the freedom from restraint and responsibility that summer entails is finally in my grasp. In addition to this pleasant realization, I can also emerge from my hiatus and continue with my observations on the world and its thousands of pathetic or amazing facets. Well, don't lament too much over the world flaws; a real gemstone is distinct from a synthetic one in one aspect: it's flaws. A utopia is not possible, and ironically, the more we are able to accept that, the more time and effort we can devote to making the world a better place. Regardless of the current state of world affairs, school is still out anyway, so that's a plus. And it is quite fitting that the last day of our school year should be (what I now consider) a sweltering eighty degrees. If there is one thing I'm certain of, it's that I will never understand what has happened to make Michigan so bipolar in its climate patterns. Maybe it had an abusive father. Well, I'm done; you have my consent to return to the mediocrity of your normal lives.
Ciao!
Chris Solbeski