Dear Dysfunctional,
To begin, I would like to express my disdain (oh so haughty) for the opening statement of "I know I haven't been on in a while, but here's a new blog post!"This might be acceptable if you actually have some poor souls reading your blog, but seeing as I have practically nobody reading this thing, I feel I have no justification in addressing my audience (ahem) in such a manner. Pleasantries aside, I am ready for winter to end. My days are spent languishing in my house, wishing that the sun would deign to show his face, with my spirit crying for leaving, and smoke in the trees, and songbirds trees by the road. Now, perhaps all those Coloradans are just fine with the snow how it is, what with their skiing and... I don't know, all the other stuff they do in the snow, but for those of you who have not experienced the full force (or lack thereof) of a south east Michigan winter, it sucks. The weather cycle essentially takes this shape: snow, more snow, melt, freeze, wait, snow, rain, overcast and cold, snow, melt. As exciting as this all may seem, (sarcasm of the most blatant variety) its actually quite exhausting, especially when the sun becomes a thing of legend, and a bleak gray descends upon the landscape. After two months of this, desperation sets in, which leads people to seek solace in drinking and kesha songs, or, in my case, blogging. Pick your poison, fellow Michiganders, for the curse of the everlasting winter is upon you, and spring will NEVER COME!! Or at least, this is the basic mentality, until, with a burst of unrivaled glory, spring shows up. Oh, and then it rains, and becomes cloudy again. The moral of this story is: move to California. Or Florida, if you'd rather not be taxed half to death.
Ciao,
Hal Guisse
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